Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Running Nose


Anala made a mistake of informing me and Shivi that she is having a runny nose. We tried to interpret what it meant and here is the discussion to arrive at a conclusion.

Anala: You've been invited to this chat room!
Shivi has joined

Anala: ahem !
Ravi: yeh kya hai.. group sex!!!! i mean group chat.
Anala: yeh group chat hai..taaki tum dono mere peet peeche kuch secret na share kare. argh
Shivi: abe Anala needs help with her nose
Ravi: btw, Anala - why are you offline?
Shivi: yes
Ravi: tum to chup chup kar bat karte ho sabse..
Shivi: ye mai hamesha sochta hun
Anala: tum kya problem hai if i am offline
Ravi: mujhe toh pata hi nahi tha ki u r online.
Anala: haan mein itni popular jo hun isliye, aur tum mere popularity se jalte ho
Shivi: usne bahut saare secrets paal rakhein overflowing through her nose, like the phrase..."ab ppani naak ke upar aa gaya hai"
Anala: naak se uper nahin... neeche behraha hai... runinning nose
Ravi: so, aab secret ka collection naaak se uppar aa gaya hai..
Shivi: exactly
Ravi: toh pakad ke rakho na aapne nose ko.
Anala: nahin ho sakta
Ravi: nose tumhara, bhag who raha hai, aur pareshan hum ho..
Anala: :D i like it
Shivi: abe take her nose secretions seriously since they r secrets...equivalent to wikileaks
Anala: he heee
Ravi: humn..
Anala: noseleaks
Shivi: Ek bar naak blow karegi..toh kai goverments kaap jayegi
Ravi: btw, as I suggested "do i need to suck her nose" for that experimental treatment.
aise hi Bangalore Municipality ki watt laga di hai maidam ne..
Anala: cheeee
Shivi: i know u r tempted to digest the secrets and sell them for a profit
Anala: mera haath nahin hai usme
Shivi: do u have secrets about the Banglore Muncipality also up ur nose, shud the Muncipality be concerned abt wht will come out from ur nose
Anala: i wud sure love that kind of attention
Ravi: abb toh nose sucking more tempting lagta hai... vacuum cleaner le kar jana parega..
Shivi: Abhee tak jo bhee waste kiya ...rehne do...abhee jo bhee baki it in beakers and chemical jars...I just realised it may turn into forensic evidence
Anala: nose ke alava aur bhi hai vacuum clean ke liye... windows, grills, sofa... when are u coming with vacuum ravi
Ravi: but it may not be safe at her home, many gornaments would be behind such secret.
Shivi: yes CIA will try to dig into her nose. Imagine secret agents picking Anala's nose
Ravi: but I've heard that CBI is not allowing them the right to investigate. as they say, being brought up on Indian body, Anala's nose should be accessed only by CBI
Shivi: CIA,RAW,ISI,MOSSAD all trying to collect groundbreaking evidense encoded in SNOT
Ravi: even Bejan Daruwala is trying to make predictions based on the direction of her nose droppings.
Shivi: Han Aur ye sab hoga "Theek CBI kee naak ke neechey"
Anala: i will say 'Not my Snot'
Ravi: aise kaise bol dogi.. aakhir national security ka mamla hai..
Shivi: hahahha Isnt this the perfect example of POTA
Ravi: kiska pota?
Anala: mera naak behraha hai zaroor...mein muh toh bandh raksakti thi.... sab mera galti hai....
Shivi: is hindi for SNOT... under POTA u have no right to withhold secrets that may be of interst from the point of view of national security dude
Ravi: but Anala is childless, yeh pota kaha se aaya.
Shivi: So as per POTA u shall share the 'POTA'
Ravi: sadi bina baccha suna tha, but beta bina pota!!!! yeh to ghor kalyug hai..
Anala: :O
Shivi: Abey yahee to secret hota hai...Ek genearation poori gayab ho gayee...One whole generation mysteriously missing..No POTA. Thts y they call it "the BETA version"
Anala: mere snot mein behgayi ek generation :D
Ravi: Kahi kisi UFO ka toh hath nahi isme?
Shivi: U sneezed a whole generation out. Anala ek baat batao
Anala: which baat?
Shivi: Do u have counterparts Across the world in all countries...Sab ke nose me some secrets...Agents like these in every country...And then How do u exchange this nasal information...Do u guys exchange snot. brilliant idea though
Anala: yuck
Ravi: Btw, Anala ki aakhen toh bilkul UFO ki tarah hai.
Anala: of course there are dried samples... if u want...
Shivi: ppl will dismiss ur dangerous activity as casual nose picking. but now we know is innocent se nose picking ke peechey bahut kuchha hai
Ravi: actually, Anala picks her nose and puts the snot in her usb slot.. everything is digitalized and transmitted across.
Anala: wow what technology !!
Shivi: is ur snot...configured and can be transmitted electronically?
Anala: yes sent as packets of dirt
Ravi: no. no.. its not electronically. actually, the snot is decoded digitally and then recoded in fart
Anala: arghhhhhh
Shivi: brilliant
Anala: kal tumhara naak behne lagega...
Ravi: which in turn is carried by other people as they inhale anala's fart and then far again somewhere else.
Shivi: and agents who decode the message must be having spl sensors in there nose
Ravi: so there is no risk of phone tapping or interception over internet. Have u heard of aurora borealis? that is reception of cosmic fart codes from other universes.
Shivi: yes but there might be some data loss in this transmission.....Snot is Solid+liquid....Fart is in gaseous state...
Ravi: Anala can put some light on the issue of data loss..
Shivi: wht say anala??? how do u account for tht...are there some other mediums too?
Ravi: some of the information is decoded in solid form and transmitted via the sewers
Shivi: Sewage, correct. and in this way no one has the complete code
Ravi: yep.
Shivi: and the whole secret is safe. there are 3 ppl one with snot with inhaled fart gas and the 3rd with the shit
Ravi: later, then collect all the parts of the code, put them together, and recreate the snot from gaseous and solid components..
Shivi: And none of them know what exactly Anala is trying to convey to other agents across the border
Anala: i just said i have a running nose. only
Ravi: yep, we understood that. whatever we are saying is just our crude interpretation..
Shivi: but we can read between the lines mate
Ravi: of course, we stupid human beings won't have enough intelligence to comprehend your snot. @Shivi - between which lines. Do u mean the lines you wrote and the lines I wrote.
Shivi: Nope between the lines anala never wrote
Ravi: oh.. Where are those lines written?
Shivi: Anala just mentioned her Snot and never mentioned abt her Shit and fart. these are just logical deductions
Ravi: Isn't it strange that we refer such important pieces of information as trivial human wastes :( information which has the potential to ruin the entire nations, cause catastrophic damage to the world economy and coral reefs
Anala: save all ur wastes... such important data u wud be losing ....
Shivi: thts y she was apposed to the idea of A revolutionary concept of treatment called Butt Baths...that can cure common cold...But if she immerses her Butt in water...Poori mehnat pe pani pad jaata
Anala: tu toh pitega zaroor Shivi when i get hold of him.
Shivi: kaun?
Ravi: humn.. now we can understand she desists the idea of nose sucking.
Shivi: oh yes...i swear Agent Anala...this conversation will not leave this Chat page. Nasal Agent Anala, N.A.A.
Anala: and thats why
Anala becomes 'nala'... sound is nasal aint it?
Shivi: Exactly. now she is opening up. now tht she is confident...we wont leak out her secrets. Ur Snot is safe with us NAA
Ravi: Shivi, u missed an important part in the acronym
Shivi: i know dude, wht u will get to
Ravi: Nasala Agent of Lanquizer Anala
Shivi: whts a lanquizer?
Ravi: oh.. thats a secret island tucked between the intergalactic space of Olandria and Babblefrock
Anala: all thesse places in my nose??
Ravi: c'mon Anala, don't try to be so innocent..
Shivi: Son Who was sneezed away use kabhee "MAA ka pyaar NAA mila" Use NAA se MAA ka pyyar mila
Ravi: We, the creatures of Zefrod, aren't so dumb that we won't know about the Olandria and Babblefrock galaxies. and yes, few of us also came to know about that secret intergalactic space where you belong.
Shivi: Wahi mai soch raha thaa...itnee badee naak ka raaz kya hai...her nose is shaped like a space craft...Must be the parking space
Ravi: where people throw snot on each other to communicate. and where musicians are acclaimed for the enormous amount of snot in their nose.
Shivi: ek baar Nasal Agent Anla ne batay thaa ki Gussa uski Naak pe rehta hai...afcourse uski Naak ke andar itna kuchh hai...How can Gussa find place insde the nose. iliye naak pe rehta hai
Ravi: there seems to be a kind of helipad for gussa
Shivi: yes I can totally imagine that shantanu....Anala throwing snot On her own planet to communicate. She must be doing it when she meets her ppl on planet earth. Guess she has another agent friend of hers...working in India...Bollywood...disguised in a beard and a Himesh Reshamiya
Ravi: yep. u got it right shivi.. he also gives lot of importance to nose.
Shivi: tell me if itSNOT true... it-SNOT true??? Bolo Anala bolo. Khamosh kyun ho
Anala: am on phone.....
Ravi: snotting on phone?
Anala: yesss
Shivi: ItSNOT important. Anala wud u demonstrate the Method of Encrypting Nasal data for me and Shantanu in a picking ur nose online!!! shantanu can however do it in person...coz he is there
Ravi: Shivi, u can get a live demonstration.
Shivi: please NAA do it for me naa
Ravi: she can digitalize some snot and send it across to you by means of fart/shit communication.
Shivi: NAA do it for me NAA
Ravi: soon u will have a Shower Of Snot.
Shivi: oh am waiting. and Fart dust too
Ravi: people popularly know it as "SOS"
Shivi: A mushroom cloud of fart gases
Ravi: so, they ask for SOS whenever they are in trouble..
Shivi: SOS, oh shower of snot
Ravi: see what healing qualities snot has..
Shivi: yes. they know only NAA can respond to there SOS. NAASA ka matlab bhee aaj samajh me aaya. Nasal Agent Anala Snot of her snot is study of galaxies
Ravi: ya.. i feel enlightened after all the knowledge of snot.
Shivi: tht explains ur observation when u saw her staring and lost in her nose pickings
Ravi: true..
Shivi: She was not just picking her was all cutting research
Ravi: i heard that ppl at NAASA are using electron microscope instead of radio telescope now a days..
Anala: guys am goign to sleep now...
Shivi: anala
Ravi: now I understand why then changed their direction of study from macroscopic to microscopic..
Shivi: wait NAA
Anala: u guys keep writing script for ur new scifi movie... SnotMe
Ravi: but we need a demonstration of it. for visualization.
Shivi: Wishing U a Snotful Fartatious Shitilating birthday and lots of joy from these all year round
Ravi: wait a minute.. i've a doubt whether wikileaks has got access to a jar of NAA's snot..
Anala: u didnt mention abt NAAsa. why so
Shivi: Lets pick our Nose and Fart in the Honour of the Glorious ...One
Anala: ok thats ther too
Shivi: Anala scroll up and see. NAA u must be proud of us, ur humble followers.
Shivi: Question wht does NAA do when she is asked to Pick a topic?
Anala: pcks nose :P
Shivi: arent u proud of us Maa-NAA, as in mother NAA. Maa NAA ...wo hasin hain...ham bhee kam nahin hain
Ravi: Shivi, we should also try our hands in the higher means of communication.
Shivi: will she let us pick her nose? or share her data with us?
Ravi: may be, but would charge heavily..
Shivi: NAA NAA .....NAA aisa NAAhi karengi
Ravi: i'll go to the small white pond in my home and drop some message in solid form. you try to decode them at your end..
Shivi: in her buisness STOOL is the TOOL of communication
Ravi: yep..
Ravi: i feel we should try to learn more on this topic.
Anala: am tempted to type a sms i got...
Ravi: that is the only way to our salvation
Anala: u guys will love it
Shivi: and wht does NAA..say when she recieves a new secret info?????
Ravi: is that snotifying enough?
Shivi: NAA says Oh Shit
Shivi: How did u recieve the SMS? Snot Messaging Service. SMS !!!
Anala: sign board outside a sardaes pathology clinic : for you it may be your urine and potty..but for us it is our dal and roti!!
Shivi: was tht SMS from ur agent friends?
Ravi: via Global Shit Mobility (GSM) system.
Anala: yes from Snot Messaging Services
Shivi: NAA wht abt the demonstration?
Anala: and now please excuse me.... i need to blowout snot now.... demeostration whenever that happens....
Shivi: please tell us NAA
Anala: byee for now...
Shivi: in human language, we can not decode
Ravi: btw, potty and su-su resembles more to anna-rasam
Anala: so enjoy it....
Ravi: Shivi, going to send u some solid based messages in a moment. catch them.
Shivi: Happy Birthday ANALA. ok. we will practice the art
Anala: thanks Shivi...sure do it....
Shivi: Till we can communicate at her level
Anala: is it called Fart of Living ???
Ravi: We'll close this chat and move to a higher means of communication.. yes.
Shivi: Fartabulous
Ravi: Lets practice it.
Shivi: Snoter the Better
Anala: yes now everybody disperse
Shivi: As she will disperce as well
Ravi: Ok.. as you say maidam..
Shivi: bye
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