Thursday, July 26, 2012

Confessions of a True Trekker - IV

The (Actual) Lesson    -    Continuation of Confessions of a True Trekker - The Alpha Male
Courtesy: Heartsong Handicrafts

The competition for mates is cut throat here in the city malls, pubs, and parks, pretty much upholding the supply and demand rule. The situation is comparable only to the communist Russia in the aftermath of World War II, where there were mile long queues even for fat potatoes and stale bread. Thinking of chicken lollipop, insane!

Charles Darwin had once famously said that the competition for mates is inversely proportional to the risk to life. Thus, competition should be far less in a hostile environment like jungles as few would risk life for mates. Or I thought so at least.

While preparing the logical curry of economics and evolution, I forgot that the question of competition comes only when there is a prize involved, a prize worth winning. Have you ever imagined what would happen if the prize trophy in Filmfare Awards is replaced by something resembling an overgrown jack fruit or a bunch of pest-infested ragi? That’s what “competition” on treks is all about. Primary objective for the ladies to trek is to transform themselves from being a jack fruit to the amorous figurine of Filmfare trophy and be back in the pubs and parks right before swayamvar. Now, who wants jack fruit after all the risk and pain of trekking! The prize simply isn’t worth all the pain.

Apart from being a worthless endeavor from the biological perspective, trekking is fast becoming a cause of concern for social integrity and even national security. The gender distribution on treks is highly skewed in favor of polyandry. And this in combination with the jack fruit trophies makes it a lethal cocktail for the society. The results in absolute lack of mating opportunities for any self-respecting, god-fearing mammal with faith in god’s method of procreation. It is a proven fact that prolonged proximity with individuals from same gender, especially in isolated environment like jungles, leads to psychological weakness and the individuals succumb to the psychological-transmitted sexual disorders, such as homosexuality.

Now, please don’t tell me that homosexuality is a matter of personal choice and has nothing to do with social integrity and national security. No one with even an elementary knowledge of evolutionary biology and military psychology would buy this theory. You are not one of those morons who riot on streets with placards in hand about rights and freedom , are you? The propaganda of socialist media has done well to hide the grave implications of homosexuality on our national culture and sovereignty, but no more. We will have raise our voice and awaken the entire nation to the realities of new found sexual fads. The truth awaits.

Next Part: Confessions of a True Trekker - V - The Betrayal of Fatherland

Previous Parts:
1. Confessions of a True Trekker - I - The Prelude
2. Confessions of a True Trekker - II - The Barber’s Mirror
3. Confessions of a True Trekker - III - The Alpha Male
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  1. I don't see a point why an article is written with complex words/phrases which not many can understand :-( Are they being written to attract the girls who get attracted to those who use hi-fi words?

  2. My dear Anonymous:

    Do you imply that girls are dumb and can't understand anything beyond phrases like you are pretty, so beautiful, etc.?

    By the way, which words/phrases you think are complex for you?

    If you had followed your kindergarten teachers and read the difficult words/phrases with a finger (mouse) over the words, it would have been really easy to understand them. Don't trust me? Just try it out.

  3. I should agree with Anonymous here.

    Normally I never take too much time reading an article. The way you have explained whatever you wanted to explain is complex(atleast to me). I got bits and bytes, from it, but not the whole thing.

    But its ok, since people have there own ways to express themselves.

  4. @vipin - We have so engrossed ourselves in general methods of reading (like general methods of preparation of alkanes) that we never try to read and understand what is not general. Then we say it's intangible.

    I had read Catch 22 once and could not understand a bit. Abandoned it midway. Just started reading it back again and now it is much more clear and humorous.

    As I said, there is a finger-rule to understanding, lay your fingers (mouse) over the words/phrases you don't understand and see what happens.

  5. Man, where do u get these ideas?

  6. "If you had followed your kindergarten teachers and read the difficult words/phrases with a finger (mouse) over the words, it would have been really easy to understand them. Don't trust me? Just try it out."

    This one is really cool and it really worked :). I'm loving it.

  7. here comes another one...."prolonged proximity" prolong and how proximate one should be to grow this likeness towards same gender ?.....i have spent 3 days in jungle with some of them and there were some "close encounters" ....


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