Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Have Faith In Science

Courtesy - www.lifestylekick.com
Courtesy: lifestylekick.com
Now, that title is an oxymoron. Science is understanding the world through observation and emperically evidence and faith is "complete trust or confidence in someone or something disregarding contra-evidence.

The origins of this post is a facebook discussion initiated by an intellectual friend, Tathagata, the enlightened one. The question he raised is as follows:
‎"The earth revolves round the sun and the sun does not revolve round the earth" This I learnt in my school days. heard that science has also proved it. Such proof is valid only for them who can understand such proof. I do not have enough knowledge of Mathematics or Physics to understand the proof. I have never been to the outer space to see such phenomenon with my eyes. Never seen any video sent by satellites. Now, is it fine that I believe in such phenomenon?
To rephrase his question:
"Is it okay to believe science since science itself advocates in evedentialism especially given that it is beyond the capacity of an individual to prove all the so-called scientific facts?" To re-rephrase the question, "is believing in scientific fact same as believing in religious fallacies?"

I tried to answer this question in this post.

Footnote (in the header): I am not a philosopher and do not have the mental capacity to logically connect all the dots of knowledge correctly to reach an answer which would be devoid of any fallacies. Nonetheless, I would try my best to put across all the sense that I can make of all the nonsense collected over decades.

My Answer: To start with, I must tell you that your premise is wrong. The earth doesn't revolve around the sun neither the sun revolves around earth. Basically, sun pops out of my ass when I fart early in the morning. And sunset is when I dip sun in my cup to boil water for my evening coffee.

You would do perfectly fine believing in this theory of sunset/sunrise if sun's schedule doesn't hurt/affect you in any way. For example, you never go out of your sealed house where you download all your food and other needs from internet. However, if it does affect, then knowing the truth about the theory is paramount to your well being. For example, if you are a potato farmer and more sunlight (longer day time) results in a better crop, then it would be in your interest to please me to fart a little earlier and have tea little late. So, you might like to offer me a bribe of puri-aaloo dam. Alternatively, if you are a thief, you might like to have longer night hours and bribe me for the same.

Now, suppose that another person, say Bibhas, claims that it is he from whose ass the sun pops out and in whose tea cup the sun drowns. In support of his claim, he says that he is more handsome than me, taller than me, has longer hands, longer legs, and longer everything else, and consequently has better gastronomical system than mine to house the sun. Also, the sun sets in his tea cup because tea requires higher temperature and long boiling duration than coffee.

Now, you are in trouble as you don't know who is saying the truth and knowing it is important to avoid wastefully bribing a person from whose ass the sun doesn't emerge.

Since you are either a potato farmer or a thief, you have little knowledge about human anatomy and have no instruments to inspect human body. So, now you hire a veterinary doctor to examine both asses and find out whose claim is right. Since the doctor can be bribed by me or Bibhas to give a false finding, you would want the test to be double blind, that is me/Bibhas would not know who is examining us and the doctor would not know whom s/he is examining, etc.

In today's hi-tech world, it still leaves some chance of corruption. So, you hire another vet doc to independently examine both of us to be doubly sure of the results.

Basically, you hired the expertise and services of vet docs to give you an understanding on anatomical truth as you lack understanding in that field. You "BELIEVED" the docs because you lacked knowledge in that field. We need to believe a lot of people because it is not possible to acquire all the knowledge in this universe. However, we still utilized our common sense and make sure the study was double blind and repeatable by different persons at different places. 

Once you are confirmed about who is the person in whose intestine the sun resides, you cut the deal with him. However, from time to time, you hire a vet doc and repeat the examinations in light of the current knowledge/understanding of the time to be sure you are not unnecessarily bribing someone.
This is how exactly human knowledge works.

CONCLUSIONS:
  1. Science is about seeking knowledge with empirical evidence which can be independently verified.
  2. Believing is a shortcut to knowledge because our mind would do a lot of processing and generate a lot of heat if we have to process entire knowledge tree to come to a conclusion. For example, when someone asks you what is 5 x 5, you jump to say 25 not because your brain gives empirical proof, but because your brain just "believes" it. To give an empirical proof, you would first need to calculate 5, i.e., 1+1+1+1+1, calculate 5 again, add these two 5's, calculate another 5, add this 5 to the previous sum and so on. In nutshell, empirically calculating 5 x 5 would be something like this - (1+1+1+1+1)+(1+1+1+1+1)+(1+1+1+1+1)+(1+1+1+1+1)+(1+1+1+1+1) and this is what dumb computers do. We humans take the shortcut, we just believe.
  3. We depend on knowledge base created by generations and generations of human beings that existed on this earth. Newton could discover his laws only because some unnamed human, living thousands of years in the past, had figured out that apple could be eaten. Otherwise, no one would have planted an apple tree for Newton to sit under.
  4. So, we do "believe scientific knowledge" apparently in contradiction to the very condition science puts in front of us, i.e., to go only by emperical evidence. However, this belief is only a shortcut as mentioned under #2 and because of reasons as mentioned under #3.
  5. Scientific facts are put to test from time to time and we continuously try to falsify them so as to unearth newer avenues of knowledge. This is what differentiates science from non-science, science takes pride in self falsification.
  6. Under no conditions, this belief can be held true if emperical evidence advises otherwise. Also, this belief/shortcut needs to change if evidence to falsify the underlying fact is found. Again, this is not the case of other types of beliefs, i.e., religious beliefs.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Durgotsav 2012 - Bangla Cultural Programs In Bangalore

Courtesy: anne in adelaide

For bongs, Durga Puja is a time for bong connections with music, dance, theater, and everything in between. Specially for people staying far away from their cultural hotpot, Durga Puja presents a once in a year opportunity to relish their music, relive their cultural identity.

Here is an attempt to compile a list (Sorted by location) of Bengali cultural programs happening across Bangalore. For some of the known artists, I have added links to give you an idea who they are and what kind of performance to expect.

Please comment if you know about other programs with details of program, location, date, and time.

Of note, a creature know as Tathagata Maiti has been instrumental in inspiring and in the making of this list.

Pandal Locations: For address of pandal locations, please see Durgotsav 2012 post.

Friday, October 19, 2012 - Panchami

1. Koramangala - Sharathi Socio-Cultural Trust 

2. RT Nagar - RT Nagar Sarbajanin Durga Puja Samiti

  • Recitation Competition - 1930 Hours


Saturday, October 20, 2012 - Shashti

1. BTM Layout - Bengali in Bangalore

  • Mohiner Ghoraguli songs by Banerghatta Banor Sena (group of kids) - 1945 Hours
  • Sruti NaTok by Smaranika Theatre Group - 2040 Hours
  • Folk songs by Madhusree Boral - 2110 Hours

2. Commercial Street - Bengali Association

  • Aagomoni & Aadhunik Bangla Gaan - 1930 Hours

3. Indiranagar - Socio-Cultural Association

4. J P Nagar (Bannerghatta Road) - South Bangalore Cultural Association

  • “Matri Abhahan” Bengalee songs by members, Directed by Smt. Debjani Datta - 1900 Hours

5. J P Nagar - Utsav

  • A classical dance based presentation on the theme of Vandana - 2045 Hours

6. Jayamahal - Jayamahal Sarbajanin Durga Charitable Samiti

  • "Koilash Hote Baaper Barhi" by Balmiki Group - 2000 Hours
  • Dance Medley "Dance Masti" by Jayamahal Group - 2100 Hours
  • Bouquet of Melodies by Rishi and Group - 2130 Hours

7. Koramangala - Sharathi Socio-Cultural Trust

  • Bangla Rock Band Krosswindz
  • Music by Kohal (Retro and Contemporary)
8. Marathalli - Poorva Bangalore Cultural Association
  • Classical dance by Natyalahari - 1930 Hours
  • Dance performance by Happy Kids - 2000 Hours
  • Adhunik Bangla Gaan by Haimanti Shukla - 2030 Hours

9. RT Nagar - RT Nagar Sarbajanin Durga Puja Samiti 

  • Agomani Songs - 1130 Hours
  • Folk Dances of India - 1130 Hours
  • Drawing Competition - 1300 Hours
  • Quiz (Prelim.) - 1300 Hours

10. Sarjapura Road - SORROBA


Sunday, October 21, 2012 - Saptami
1. BTM Layout - Bengali in Bangalore
  • Interesting couple games - 1130 Hours
  • Angik dance group performance - Old Hindi and Bengali songs - 1945 Hours
  • Poem recitation with Songs by Kallol Dasgupta, noted musician and theater artist - 2030 Hours
  • Bangla Rock Band AlPIN - 2100 Hours
2. Commercial Street - Bengali Association
  • Chhau Dance - 1930 Hours
  • Bioscope - A Dance and Fashion Show - 1930 Hours

3. J P Nagar (Bannerghatta Road) - South Bangalore Cultural Association 

  • “Tintee Parul Ban”, drama by members, directed by Smt. Supti Basu - 1900 Hours
  • Hindi songs by Saatsur (local group)

4. J P Nagar - Utsav

  • Rabindra Sangeet & Benbgali Folk Song presentation by Ms Iman Chakraborty - 2000 Hours

5. Jayamahal - Jayamahal Sarbajanin Durga Charitable Samiti 

  • “Gangar Tane Padyar Gane” traditional folk songs by Smt. Debjani Datta - 2000 Hours
  • Dance Drama "Nuton Juger Bhorey" by Balmiki & Jayamahal Group - 2100 Hours

6. Indiranagar - Socio-Cultural Association

  • Folk music by Bhavna Dutta - 2000 Hours
  • Dance by Debjani Sen - 2100 Hours

7. Kanakapura Road -  Kanakapura Road Bengali Association

8. Koramangala - Sharathi Socio-Cultural Trust

9. Marathalli - Poorva Bangalore Cultural Association
  • Dancing Little Champs - 1830 Hours
  • Dancing Super Kids - 1915 Hours
  • Music by Suhita & team - 1945 Hours
  • Classical dance by Nataraja Academy - 2030 Hours

10. RT Nagar - RT Nagar Sarbajanin Durga Puja Samiti 

  • Music by Haimanti Shukla - 1900 Hours
  • Fancy dress competition for Kids - 1100 Hours
  • Quiz Final - 1230 Hours
  • Fashion Show - 1900 Hours


Monday, October 22, 2012 - Ashtami

1. BTM Layout - Bengali in Bangalore 

  • Hindi and Bengali songs from 70's and 80's by Rishi and Kumar - 1900 Hours
  • Aaghor Band Ghazal night by Jataveda Banerjee - 2000 Hours
  • Shikara - A Fusion band featuring Indian Idol 4 finalist - 2100 Hours
2. Commercial Street - Bengali Association
  • Rabindra Nrityanushthan - 1930 Hours
  • Bolthoki Gaan by Shilpi Chattopadhyay - 1930 Hours
  • Dhunuchi Dance Competition - 1930 Hours

3. J P Nagar (Bannerghatta Road) - South Bangalore Cultural Association 

  • “Bagloo Chutir Ghanta”, directed by Smt.Soma Das - 1900 Hours
  • Chhau Dance

4. J P Nagar - Utsav

  • Musical  "Band" presentation by budding young talents of UTSAV - 1945 Hours
  • Shruti Natok by UTSAV Members - 2045 Hours

5. Jayamahal - Jayamahal Sarbajanin Durga Charitable Samiti

  • Odissi Dance by Madhurita & Group - 2000 Hours
  • Bengali Songs by Anik Das & Group - 2100 Hours

6. Kanakapura Road -  Kanakapura Road Bengali Association

7. Koramangala - Sharathi Socio-Cultural Trust

8. Indiranagar - Socio-Cultural Association

  • Music by Mayukh - 2000 Hours
9. Marathalli - Poorva Bangalore Cultural Association
  • Classical music by Aditya Vittal - 1830 Hours
  • An evening with Dancing Superstars - 1930 Hours
  • Music by Rathijit and Trisha - 2000 Hours

10. RT Nagar - RT Nagar Sarbajanin Durga Puja Samiti 

  • Fun Show By Mridul Bhattacharya, Mirakkel Challenge Fame from Kolkata - 1900 Hours
  • Drama: Kanchan Ranga - 1900 Hours
  • Extempo in Bangla (Bangla Boli) for Adults - 1130 Hours
  • Sankha Dhawni Competition - 1245 Hours


Tuesday, October 23, 2012 - Nabami

1. BTM Layout - Bengali in Bangalore 

  • BinB er Obhinobo Nibedon - Maddox Square Recreated - Open Air freestyle music / jamming session - 1900 Hours

2. Commercial Street - Bengali Association

3. Indiranagar - Socio-Cultural Association

4. J P Nagar (Bannerghatta Road) - South Bangalore Cultural Association

  • Traditional Bengalee Folk songs by Smt. Debjani Datta - 1930 Hours
  • Adhunik Bangla Gaan by Smt. Haimanti Shukla - 2000 Hours

5. J P Nagar - Utsav

  • Musical Collage of Tagore Songs & Bengali Modern Songs by UTSAV Members - 1945 Hours
  • "Abol Tabol" - A composition of bengali recitations, songs & plays  by UTSAV youngsters - 2030 Hours

6. Jayamahal - Jayamahal Sarbajanin Durga Charitable Samiti

  • Musical: "Banglar Taaney" "Nakshatra" Group (Swati Basu Ghosh) - 2000 Hours
  • "Cholochitrer Chaalchitro" by Jayamahal Group - 2030 Hours
  • Bangla Band "Seasons" (Shankar, Shalini & Group) - 2115 Hours

7. Kanakapura Road -  Kanakapura Road Bengali Association

  • Indian Idol Singers

8. Koramangala - Sharathi Socio-Cultural Trust

9. Marathalli - Poorva Bangalore Cultural Association

10. RT Nagar - RT Nagar Sarbajanin Durga Puja Samiti

  • Bangla Band Chandrabindoo - 1900 Hours
  • Antaksari Competition - 1130 Hours

11. Sarjapura Road - SORROBA


Wednesday, October 24, 2012 - Dashami

1. Indiranagar - Socio-Cultural Association

  • Cultural Program - 2000 Hours

2. RT Nagar - RT Nagar Sarbajanin Durga Puja Samiti

  • Magic Show - 1930 Hours



Related Post:  Durgotsav 2012

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Durgotsav 2012 - Schedule and List of Locations in Bangalore

Courtesy: 4to40.com
Note: Locations (not all) updated for 2013.

Please comment if you know that the location/address is wrong or Durga Puja is not being organized at certain place.

Bongs have invaded Bangalore in big way. The evidence is more than 40 puja pandals scattered throughout Bangalore.
This is an effort to consolidate information available online about the Durga Puja celebrations happening across the city so as to give more opportunity for lazy bongs to hang around.
I would be compiling details of Bengali cultural programs that are going to be held at various pandals in another post.
Finally, please help me add or correct information by means of comment.


Puja Schedule:
  1. Mahalaya - 15 October, Monday
  2. Panchmi - 19 October, Friday - Ananda Mela at 1900 Hours.
  3. Shashthi - 20 October, Saturday - Bodhan, Amantran, & Adhibas at 1900 Hours.
  4. Saptami - 21 October, Sunday - Puja 0815, Pushpanjali 1000, Bhog 1230, Arati 1830.
  5. Ashtami - 22 October, Monday - Puja 0815, Pushpanjali 1000, Bhog 1230, Arati 1830.
  6. Sondhi Puja - 23 October, Tuesday - 0017 - 0105.
  7. Nabami - 23 October, Tuesday - Puja 0815, Pushpanjali 1000, Bhog 1230, Arati 1830.
  8. Dashami - 24 October, Wednesday - Puja 0815, Baran & Sindur Khela 1100, Immersion 1500.
  9. Lakshmi Puja - 29 October, Monday - Puja 1930, Bhog 2030.
  10. Kali Puja - 13 November, Tuesday - Puja 1930, Bhog 2030.

Cultural Programs: For details of Bangla cultural programs being held in Bangalore, please refer to Durgotsav 2012 - Bangla Cultural Programs in Bangalore post.

Durga Puja Locations: There are more than 40 places where Durga Puja is organized in Bangalore. The list is sorted by location. Please see below for approximate location on Google Map.
  1. Bangalore Rural Association - Attebele
    Sedul Dassappa Kalyana Mantap, Near Attibele Bus Terminal, Hosur Road
  2. Banaswadi Bengali Cultural Union - Banaswadi
    Sitarama Kalyana Mandap, Kullappa Circle, Banaswadi Main Road
  3. Ramkrishna Math - Basavanagudi
    Bull Temple Road, Basavanagudi
    Website: www.rkmathbangalore.org
    Phone: 80-2661-3149
    Email: rkmblr@dataone.in
  4. Bengali in Bangalore - BTM
    Aicoboo Residents Welfare Association Ground, Opp to Udupi garden, behind Bharat Petrol Pump, 2nd Stage, BTM Layout
    Web: http://bengaliinbangalore.org
    Sourabh Sanyal : 9964723890 / Amlan Barua : 9902805101
  5. Kaggadasapura Durga Puja - C V Raman Nagar
    Anisha Grange Apartment, 6th Cross, SCT College, Kaggadasapura, C V Raman Nagar
  6. Air Force Command Hospital - Cambridge Layout
    Command Hospital, Old Airport Road
  7. The Bengalee Association - Commercial Street
    R.B.A.N.M.S Ground Ulsoor, Near Commercial Street, Opp. Ajanta Theatre
    Web: www.bengaliassociation.org
    E-mail: info@bengaliassociation.org
    Phone: 080 25366087 / 65351827
  8. Swarnakar Samiti Durga Puja - Corporation
    Beside GEO Hotel, Near Corporation and Hudson Circle
  9. Electornic City Durgapuja - Electornic City
    Electronic City, Phase 1, Near Wipro Gate 16, Ajmera Stone Park, Opp to Concard Manhattan Apartment
    Phone: 9742332211
  10. Hebbagudi Durga Puja - Hebbagudi
    Near Hebbagudi Bus Stand, Beside BIOCON Factory, Hosur Road
  11. Socio-Cultural Association - Indiranagar
    Defence Colony Playground, Near Axon Specialty Hospital, 321, 6th Main Rd, HAL 2nd Stage, Indiranagar
    Web: http://scaindiranagar.com
    Email: info@scaindiranagar.com
  12. Tripura Mondoli Durga Puja - Whitefield
    SKG Party Hall, Behind Hero Showroom, Bharath Motoers B, Narayanpura, Whitefield Road, Near Phenix Market City
    Web: http://tripuramondoliblr.info
    Phone: Sarajit - 9008838838 / Manna - 9379920459 / Shekhar - 9880175474 
  13. Anandadhara Durga Puja - J P Nagar
    11th B cross, 25th main, JP Nagar 1st Phase (Near RV Dental college, Nandini milk parlour)
    Web: http://www.anandadhara.co.in
    Phone: 9743744580, 9342636327
  14. South Bangalore Cultural Association - J P Nagar
    NGR Kalayana Mantapa, Bannerghatta Road, J P Nagar 2nd Phase, Opp. Shoppers Stop
    Web: http://www.sbca.org.in, https://www.facebook.com/SouthBangaloreCulturalAssociation
  15. Utsav - J P Nagar
    Shree Kala Mantapa, #70, 15th Cross Road, 3rd Phase, J.P. Nagar (Near Mandovi Motors, next to Crossword)
    Web: www.utsav-bangalore.com
    Phone: 25907661/ 9945316102
  16. Air Force Station - Jalahalli West
    Air Force Station, Jalahalli West, Near Peenya Circle
  17. Air Force Station - Jalahalli East
    Air Force Station, Jalahalli East, Near HMT Circle, Gokula
  18. Jayamahal Sarbajanin Durga Charitable Samiti - Jayamahal
    Jayamahal Ladies Club Ground, Adjacent to Jayamahal Park, Jayamahal Extension
    Web: http://jayamahalsamiti.org
    Phone: Bijon Majumdar - 9845090223, Debasish Banerjee - 9900245551, Himadri Nandi - 9845078787, Tapan Datta- 9845038782
  19. Kanakpura Road Bengali Association - Kanakpura Road
    BBMP Playground, Opp to HM Tambourine Appt.
    Opposite Jaraganahalli Bus Stop, Kanakpura Main Road,
    JP Nagar 6th Phase, (400 mt from sarakki signal towards Metro, on right hand side)
    Web: www.karba.in
  20. Sharathi Socio-Cultural Trust - Koramangala
    Mangala Kalyana Mantap, 8th Block, 80 Ft Road, (Opp. Ganesha Temple), Koramangala
    Web: www.sarathionline.org
    Sudipto Das: sudipto@sarathionline.org / 9886067137
  21. Sarathi Socio Cultural Forum - Koramangala
    Muni Reddy Kalayana Mantapa, 6th Block, 80 Ft Road , Koramangala, Opp. BMP Park & Near Koramangala Post Office
  22. Krishnarajpuram Durga Puja - Krishnarajpuram
    SEA College Campus, Near Krishnarajpuram Main Market
  23. Magadi Road Durga Puja - Magadi Road
    Industrial Area, Kamakshipalya, Magadi Road
  24. Probasi Aassociation - Malleshwaram
    Canara Union Hall, 8th Main, 15th Cross, Near Prakash Padukone Badminton Academy, Malleshwaram
  25. Munikolala Durga Puja - Maratahalli
    Munikolala, Opp Innovative Multiplex, Ring Road, Maratahalli
  26. Poorva Bangalore Cultural Association - Marathalli
    VSR Convention Hall, Brookefields, Opposite Hindustan Lever, Marathalli
    Web: www.pbca.in
    Phone: Kuntal Roy - 98452 71046 / Sanjay Chhoudhuri - 98801 85320
  27. Purvankara Apartment Residential Association - Marathalli
    Purvankara Apartment, Near Spicy Garden Restaurant, Marathalli
  28. Air Force Training Command - Mekhri Circle
    Mekhri Circle, Bellary Road
  29. Bangla cultural Association (BCA) - Munnekolala
    Government School Ground, #No. 4,113/2B, 12th cross, Munnekolala
    Web: http://bcabangalore.org
    Phone: 09845795295 / 08025235608
    Email: bca@openskytechnology.com
  30. North Bangalore Cultural Association - Nandini Layout
    “Mandir”, 8A, FTI Colony, Nandini Layout, Opp. ISKCON
  31. Murugeshpalya Durgotsva - Old Airport Road
    Air Force Campus, Wind Tunnel Road, Airport Road, Rifco Apartment
  32. R.T. Nagar Sarbajanin Durga Puja Samiti - RT Nagar
    Patel’S Inn, Next To Sriram White House Complex, R.T. Nagar
    Web: www.rtnagardurgapuja.in
    Email: info@rtnagardurgapuja.org
    Shyamal Biswas - 9449031398 / Dipashish Ghosh - 9986032520 / Pranab Burman – 9886545797
  33. Aikatan - Rajarajeshwari Nagar
    Sri Vasavi Mahal Kalyan Mantapa, No. 606, 18th Main Road, Ideal Homes Township, I Stage, Rajarajeshwari Nagar
    Web: http://aikatan.wordpress.com/
    Email: aikatan.bangalore@gmail.com
    Phone: Subrata – 9845129964, Maloy – 9741200229, Udayan – 9900195145
  34. Sahakara Nagar Durga Puja - Sahakara Nagar
    Sahakara Nagar, Kodigehalli, Bellary Road
  35. Antaranga Bengali Cultural Association - Sanjaynagar
    Ramana Maharishee Heritage Centre, Near Food World, Sanjay Nagar, Off Bellary Road
  36. SORRBA Durga Puja - Sarjapura Road
    Near St Peters School, Kaikondanahalli, Sarjapura Main Road, After Total Mall
    Web: www.sorrba.org / http://durgapuja2013.sorrba.org
    Email: contact@sorrba.org
    Bidyut Chowdhury - 9448050371
  37. Vivekananda Cultural Association - Seshadripuram
    Seshadripuram 1st Grade College, Opposite Railway Reservation Counter
  38. Oriya Association - Silk Board
    Road next to Mantri Elegant leading to Silk Board Bus Stand
  39. Whitefield Cultural Association - Whitefield
    Close to Nilgiris in Whitefield, Whitefield Main Road
  40. Vivekananda Cultural Association - Yelahanka
    New Town, Yelahanka
Google Map: Some of the puja pandal locations have been added to the below map. These are approximate locations and I am not very sure of them.
This is a work in progress and not all locations have been added so far. This map can be edited by anybody. Hence, please correct any location that you know of or add any pandal location.


View Durgotsav 2012 in a larger map
Related Post: 
1. Durgotsav 2012 - Bangla Cultural Programs in Bangalore
2. Bangalore Durga Puja 2012 - More details can be found here.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Confessions of a True Trekker - VI

Courtesy: Atheist Cartoons
The Conquest  -  Continuation of Confessions of a True Trekker - The Betrayal of Fatherland

For billions of years, the 330 million gods have been protecting this piece of land we call India notwithstanding the claims that the earth is mere 6000 years old and that merely 300 mn years ago, none of the nations existed as we know them today. Now, this very shield of protection is under threat of philosophical terrorism of communists, the god-less atheists.

Don't you see the grand plan of the communists, the god-less atheists? Turn one generation into gays and conquer the land of 330 mn gods in next generation because there won't be anybody to protect those 330 mn gods who protect this great country, or probably the greatest country ever where the number of gods assigned to protect its devotees is higher than the number of security forces assigned for its citizens.

Our great country which ranges from the ever-flooded Asom to ever-dry Gujarat, from ever-protesting Kashmir to ever-bandh Kerala, is under threat of being conquered by those who don't have even a single god!

We already see the signs of this philosophical terrorism of the atheists making inroads in our political and social institutions. Today, the ones who are being projected as youth icon and future leaders don't even have deep enough voice to ascertain their manhood, forget about shaping the future generations. And what is most worrisome is the fact that the entire generations of this mighty land are trying to mimic them in whatever manner possible. Flocks of men with pigeon poop on their faces to add brightness to it, drinking mud-colored water because some baby-faced guy with a high-pitch voice told them to go and get it. And this is in spite of the well-known fact that drinking such mud-colored water makes the reproductive system immensely weak. And the gornament has not taken any step to prohibit drinking of such anti-national drinks! Instead, they have banned the other mud-colored drinks with substance in it, which reinforces manhood even in those men who have been tamed by virtue of marriage. Now, that's clearly a sabotage of national security and it doesn't even find a fleeting mention by the security advisor to PM, a clear sign that the communists have invaded the gornament as well.

In fact, it is not a security problem just of our country but that of the entire earth because the atheists want to capture the world and establish the rule of their masters sitting at the intergalactic spaces. No, no, it's not a joke. I am not talking gibberish. Atheist and rationalists are indeed from an alien galaxy. The evidence is in clear sight.

To Be Continued...

Previous Parts:
1. Confessions of a True Trekker - I - The Prelude
2. Confessions of a True Trekker - II - The Barber’s Mirror
3. Confessions of a True Trekker - III - The Alpha Male
4. Confessions of a True Trekker - IV - The (Actual) Lesson
5. Confessions of a True Trekker - V - The Betrayal of Fatherland

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Olympics 2012 - Another Perspective II

Courtesy: Geckoam
(Not) A Game of Money
Continuation of Olympics 2012 - Another Perspective I

Does rich nations play more sports? And do they win more than their poor counterparts? Let's analyze the data for answers to these questions.

GDP Per Participant:  If I have more money at disposal, I would spend more time and money on sports and hence, would rank higher in terms of number of participants and medals. A poor country which secured one medal would have done it against innumerable odds compared to a wealthy nation and should actually rank higher. Taking the wealth of the citizens into account, we can rank nations based on how many athletes it produced per dollar of their gross domestic product (GDP).

For this purpose, I used GDP at Purchasing Power Parity Per Capita instead of nominal GDP. The reason being the GDP in itself would reflect the national wealth, not general prosperity of its citizen. A per capita GDP (PPP), though not equivalent to per capita income, does reflect the wealth of citizen while adjusting for varying cost of living across geographies. Now, getting to the ranks.

Best GDP to Athlete Ratio: China - 22 USD per capita per participant.
Worst GDP to Athlete Ratio: Liechtenstein - 47,033 USD per capita per participant.

So, China produces the maximum number of participants per dollar whereas Liechtenstein, the richest participating nation, produced the least. And India? Well, India did a rather good job here, standing at 7th position, spending 45 USD per capita per participant!

Correlation Coefficient - GDP and No. of Participants: 0.2626

Does rich nations play more? Yes, they do, but poor countries do as much too. The correlation coefficient which, even though positive, is just a quarter and signifies that the correlation is not that strong. Even though sports requires money, we can play with little money as well. Next time you are told that the lack of fund is sololy responsible for the pathetic state of Indian hockey, tell them about the correlation and I bet they would still continue their rant because it is easy to understand what lack of fund means but not correlation coefficient.

GDP Per Medal: Whereas GDP Per Participant tells us about how efficienctly the nation uses its resources to promote sports, GDP Per Medal tells us about the financial efficiency in winning games. Again, just like Population Per Medal, we are comparing only the 85 nations that won any medals.

Best GDP to Medal ratio: China - 95 USD per capita per participant.
Worst GDP to Medal ratio: Qatar - 51,350 USD per capita per participant.

China did it again, winning maximum number of medals per dollar of GDP. The filthy rich Qatar did worst on GDP to medal ratio amongst the 85 countries that won any medal.

Correlation Coefficient - GDP and Medals: 0.1938

Does rich nations win more than poor folks? As it is evident from the correlation coefficient, there is little correlation between individual wealth and games won. In other words, wealthy first world countries are very slightly more likely to win games than underdeveloped countries.
Even though money is a crucial factor in playing sports, there may be other factors at play which compensate for lack of money. What are those factors? The numbers won't tell that. And what is your guess?

As the numbers talk, it is evident that there is no clear relation between performance in sports and wealth. The potential of a middle-class kid next door transforming into a sport star is only slightly less than that of wealthy folks. At least, this is what the Olympics data suggests. To know the actual probability of it and the correlation between a wealthy family and sports performance, we would need a different set of data.

Participant Per Medal: A nation can field a large number of participants. Though it does improve the probability of winning more medals, the quality of participants have a rather major role to play. In my opinion, a nation which fileded ten participants and won 5 medals should rank higher than a nation which fielded hundred participants but won only 30 medals. Here is a comparison of nations based on how many quality participant they produced worth their salt.

Best Participant to Medal ratio: Botswana, China, Iran, Jamaica, Kenya - 4 participants per medal.
Worst Participant to Medal ratio: Portugal - 77 participants per medal.

India had a participant to medal ratio of 14 and ranked 47 out of 85 medal-winning nations.

In summary, China seems to have done well whether it is about utilizing money or about producing quality participants.

Correlation Coefficient - Participants and Medals: 0.897774

Now, this is an obvious conclusion. The more the number of participants, the more the medals. However, the point to point finger would be that there is no perfect correlation between the number of participants and medals and in fact, it is a tad less than 1. What it implies is nations with higher number of participants won less medals per participant when compared to the averages.

For a detailed look on the numbers, check out the spreadsheet below.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Olympics 2012 - Another Perspective - I

Courtesy: Geograph
Number Games

Which country did best in London Olympics 2012? Does bigger countries play more sports than smaller ones? India performed its best ever in Olympics, but was it really best performance? We would try to answer all these questions with a pinch of statistics and I bet, answers will surprise you.

Olympics is an interesting event, not just from perspective of sports but also from statistical perspective as well, for example, to compare relation between sports, population, and GDP. If you take Cricket World Cup or FIFA World Cup, you get a skewed comparison because very few countries play cricket and in case of football, many countries might have competitive advantage in some other sports giving a wrong interpretation of data.

However, unlike Cricket World Cup or FIFA World Cup, we get a wider representation of countries and sports in Olympics allowing for a rather fair comparison.

Secondly, looking the medal tally, we cannot judge a nation's sports spirit because of varying factors such as population and economy. Here, I have tried to plug in those numbers and rank nations in a more justifiable way.

Finally, while the news papers are full of the wonderful performance of India and while the social media can't stop cheering the athletes even after the event is over, it is worth to introspect and find out where we actually stand and whether we are game for the games.

Let's get started with the basics stats of London Olympics 2012.

Maximum Number of Participants: Great Britain - 541 athletes
Maximum Number of Medals: United States - 104 medals
Most Populous Nation: China - 1.35 bn people
Wealthiest Nation (GDP Per Capita - PPP): Liechtenstein - 141,100 USD

Now, the more interesting (and more complex) stats.

Population Per Participant / Athlete Density: This number is the total number of participants divided by nation's population which gives an idea about how popular sports is in the given nation. In a populous country like China, there would definitely be many athletes and they would rank higher, but if you find higher density of athletes in nation, it implies people play more sports there. As the title suggests, it is simply the number of citizens out of which we would get one athlete.

Best Athlete Density: Cook Islands - 2224 people per athlete.
Worst Athlete Density: Bangladesh - 30,503,603 (3 mn) people per athlete.

What about India? It's third worst, 14,580,644 (1.4 mn) people per athlete, right above Bangladesh and DR Congo.

Correlation Coefficient - Population and No. of Participants: 0.3439

This number signifies the linear relationship between population and no. of participant of the nations, whether more populous nation field more athletes or not. The short answer is yes, they do. For the long answer, let's understand correlation coefficient first.

Basically, it tells us how two variable are related to each other. This coefficient may have value between -1 to +1. A value of -1 would mean that the variables are inversely correlated, i.e., if one goes up, the other goes down in the same proportion. Similarly, a value of +1 would mean that the variables are perfectly correlated, i.e., if one goes up, the other goes up in the same proportion. What about zero? Well, that means the variables are independent of each other and there is no correlation. Values in between -1 and +1 represents all the shades of correlation in between.

A value of 0.3439 would mean that there is a correlation, but not a perfect one (value of +1). In other words, even though populous nations have more athlete but not as much as less populous nations do when you take their populations into account. In other words, athlete density is more in less populous nations. In yet other words, people play more sports in small countries.

Population Per Medal / Performance Density: Population per participant gives us an idea about popularity of sports in each nation, but it fails to show how good the athletes are in sports. Pupulation per medal shows how good the nations are in the sports. The logic is that a tiny nation winning one medal should be ranked higher than a nation hundred times its population that has won ten medals. Here, we can only compare the 85 nations that has won medals out of the 204 participanting nations. The reason is simple, we cannot compare hair color of two bald people, can we?

Best Performance Density: Grenada - 105,000 people per medal.
Worst Performance Density: India - 201,698,903 (20.1 mn) people per medal.

What about the brouhaha surrounding India's wonderful performance? Well, looking at the athelete density and performance density, all one can make out is that it indeed is brouhaha. We are a nation of spectators and not players. We just want others to play the game and move our bums only when ordered to do so. India would definitely top the medal tally if the Olympic folks consider watching games 24/7 a serious game in itself. Until then, we gotta be content being first from the last.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

How Not To Drown - A nonswimmer's guide to survival

Courtesy: Einnamon
Got to know that yet another soul drowned himself in the pristine waters of Nagalapuram, the landscape which many among us have revered, respected, and relished. It is the second death in the hills over the last couple weeks.

Philosophy: I see many express grief over death of strangers, at least grief is what they pretend. I am not saddened by his death, neither by the death of anybody else who died on trek or the countless others who die each day. He had no role to play in my life. His existence or nonexistence had no bearing on my life. In fact, I was not even aware of his existence until he ceased to exist! Besides what difference would it make to him or to anybody else whether we are pained or not by his death. I know most of you would reason that it is human nature to empathize with fellow human in their deaths even if they are hated when alive. What difference would it make to pretend or even grieve for a dead man whom you never knew or would have never known? Isn't that an oxymoron, being sad on losing something which you never had, never wished for?

Concern: No, I feel no sadness. But concerned I am? These deaths in the wilderness had occupied my conscience for a long period of time. Makes me think what would I do when faced death? What should I do to prevent it? It is not the concern for human life that makes me think, but because one cannot drench themselves in the beauty of jungles with all these idiots dying around. How can one quench thirst with the pure water of the streams laced with memory of blue, bloated, half decomposed body being fished out of it giving a stench of rotten flesh? Moreover, each such death on treks makes it more and more difficult to enter the forests, tightening the bureaucratic grip of forest department. Here are couple points that I could think of to help prevent deaths by drowning.

Solution: So, starting with the best solution to prevent yourself from drowning. Swim! Well, that IS the best and only sure-shot solution. However, if you could swim, you would have not been reading this far. For those who, like me, cannot swim, here are couple tips to improve their survival rate in water. And these are expert advice, mind it, not to be taken lightly. An expert swimmer can tell you how to swim, but you would need an expert non-swimmer for survival in water if you cannot swim.

Prepare yourself not to drown:
  1. Learn swimming. At least if you know how to throw your hands and legs around, it might turn out to be crucial for your survival in those critical moments.
  2. Buy gears that would keep you afloat. Life Jacket is one such thing but bulky and cumbersome to carry on treks and burns a hole in pocket (around Rs 1500, weighs over a kilogram). Inflatable swimming tube comes handy and cheap (Rs 60, 100 gm). Another alternative is multipurpose sleeping mats (expanded polyethylene foam), sleep on it or float on it (Rs 60 per meter of 6-mm foam, 2 meter gets you two mats, around 300 gm).
  3. Buy adequate life insurance and make a clear-cut will. These aren't mandatory but ensures that there are people with reasons to be sad on your demise and that there is no confusion as to who should be sad and who shouldn't be. If your folks are generous enough, as most religious people are, they wouldn't mind spending a tiny bit of the insurance bounty on your last rides to ensure you a comfortable seat in hell.

Avoid being drowned:
  1. If you don't know swimming, keep away from jumping in deep waters regardless how adventurous it might seem even though others are around to save you and they keep pushing you to have fun. If they fail, they'll live to hone their life-saving skills later, but you would die in the process.
  2. Carry a sleeping mat either tied to backpack or inside. This would help in case you fall off the cliff straight into the beautiful, deadly pool. If you can catch hold of a 6-mm sleeping mat, you will be alive. If it's 3-mm, it would increase your buoyancy if not stop you from completely drowning.
  3. Check the water before you venture further. Even if you know swimming, it is best to familiarize yourself with the water, it's temperature, depth, rocks and plants underneath, etc. All your swimming skills might go for a toss when suddenly faced with an adverse situation. Cold water can leave you breathless. A small injury on your spine can render you paralyzed temporarily. Even impact of water is enough to knock you off your consciousness if the jump was inappropriate. All making you incapable of swimming to life.

You are drowning, now what? So, you have finally managed to drown yourself despite all the precautions. Here is what you can do now:
  1. Stop panicking because when you panic, you can't think of other good things that can save you. If you are incapable of thinking, your life is an appendix to this world and there is nothing better than being drown. You will be ripped off this world and we’ll all RIP on your wall.
  2. Take a deep breath in to fill your lungs with air. This helps you keep afloat just like the air-filled condom stay afloat in a bucket of water.
  3. Shout for help loudly. And it won't screw your esteem. Many ghosts who hang around the pools told me that they didn’t call for help feeling shy and as a consequence, they have to spend all their time drinking water. Had they overdosed on alcohol, at least they would have had better things to do in afterlife.
  4. Roll over to your back and make your body as flat as when you are lie on bed after an act of carnal sin. This ensure that your face is out in air to take breath and you can take better advance of buoyancy force which is perpendicular to the water surface and pushes everything up.
  5. Once you are flat on your back, flap your legs up and down gently perpendicular to the surface of water. This helps you keep afloat. Now, spread your arms inside water like you are about to fly and move them closer to your legs without bending at elbows pushing the water towards your feet. This would help you move in the direction of your head.

Drowned:
  1. Just chill. You are dead now and it won’t make any difference whatsoever whether you try a backstroke or butterfly.
  2. Stop worrying about your friends and family, they would happily enjoy the belongings you have left behind (and the insurance bounty) after a brief period of sobriety and would curse you all their life if you haven’t. But just chill because none of those curse would affect you anymore, you are dead.
  3. As you will be destined to spend all your life drinking water and hanging around the pool, make sure not to pollute the area as we humans would come occasionally to chill our souls.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Confessions of a True Trekker - V

The Betrayal of Fatherland     -    Continuation of Confessions of a True Trekker - The (Actual) Lesson
Courtesy: Wikimedia

Adventure sports is fast becoming popular among the adrenalin-seeking youth. However, the irony is that the same adventure sports is turning today’s youth into estrogen-seeking homosexuals. In earlier days of my trekking, I was warned about a man who had turned gay and was always on hunt for chocolate faces and had a fetish for hairy chest and polka dotted undies. I didn't believe it then, but now I see reasons with much clarity.

Homosexuality goes against our age-old culture which dates back at least ten thousand years, even before humans agreed on a sexual means of reproduction (this was when apple tree evolved and god from a different continent fooled humans into eating apples saying “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”). We have been doing it the same way ever since under the consent of kings and gods, until the new-age social geeks (aka socialists) figured out that you can reverse the cassette and play it as well!

Now, the entire sociocultural fabric of the nation is being shattered. How can we see a nation under the watchful eyes of 330 million gods turning gay, going against the god’s prescribed ways and doing quirky things? What answer will our coalition governments have when asked by each of those 330 million gods why it couldn’t implement a simple rule of not playing the cassette in reverse, which was being observed for ages?

Now, homosexuality is akin to betrayal of the fatherland, very anti-social, very much unpatriotic. All the rumors spread by the media about social acceptance of homosexuality is part of conspiracy by the communists to concur and capture our fatherland. I know you don’t believe me and you don't have to. Simply use a pinch of common sense. I know you are not an idiot, but your mind has been corrupted by the media. All you need is some clarity of thoughts, some rationality. Just ask yourself this simple question and you would know the truth. If the all young blood on this great land of Kamasutra turn gay, where the future generations will come from? And without any future generation, who will be in the fatherland to protect it and its malls, cinema halls, temples, and stock exchanges from the communists? What will happen to our rich culture of bandh, open defecation, and joint family with nine kids per couple? Think!

To Be Continued...

Previous Parts:
1. Confessions of a True Trekker - I - The Prelude
2. Confessions of a True Trekker - II - The Barber’s Mirror
3. Confessions of a True Trekker - III - The Alpha Male
4. Confessions of a True Trekker - IV - The (Actual) Lesson

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Confessions of a True Trekker - IV

The (Actual) Lesson    -    Continuation of Confessions of a True Trekker - The Alpha Male
Courtesy: Heartsong Handicrafts

The competition for mates is cut throat here in the city malls, pubs, and parks, pretty much upholding the supply and demand rule. The situation is comparable only to the communist Russia in the aftermath of World War II, where there were mile long queues even for fat potatoes and stale bread. Thinking of chicken lollipop, insane!

Charles Darwin had once famously said that the competition for mates is inversely proportional to the risk to life. Thus, competition should be far less in a hostile environment like jungles as few would risk life for mates. Or I thought so at least.

While preparing the logical curry of economics and evolution, I forgot that the question of competition comes only when there is a prize involved, a prize worth winning. Have you ever imagined what would happen if the prize trophy in Filmfare Awards is replaced by something resembling an overgrown jack fruit or a bunch of pest-infested ragi? That’s what “competition” on treks is all about. Primary objective for the ladies to trek is to transform themselves from being a jack fruit to the amorous figurine of Filmfare trophy and be back in the pubs and parks right before swayamvar. Now, who wants jack fruit after all the risk and pain of trekking! The prize simply isn’t worth all the pain.

Apart from being a worthless endeavor from the biological perspective, trekking is fast becoming a cause of concern for social integrity and even national security. The gender distribution on treks is highly skewed in favor of polyandry. And this in combination with the jack fruit trophies makes it a lethal cocktail for the society. The results in absolute lack of mating opportunities for any self-respecting, god-fearing mammal with faith in god’s method of procreation. It is a proven fact that prolonged proximity with individuals from same gender, especially in isolated environment like jungles, leads to psychological weakness and the individuals succumb to the psychological-transmitted sexual disorders, such as homosexuality.

Now, please don’t tell me that homosexuality is a matter of personal choice and has nothing to do with social integrity and national security. No one with even an elementary knowledge of evolutionary biology and military psychology would buy this theory. You are not one of those morons who riot on streets with placards in hand about rights and freedom , are you? The propaganda of socialist media has done well to hide the grave implications of homosexuality on our national culture and sovereignty, but no more. We will have raise our voice and awaken the entire nation to the realities of new found sexual fads. The truth awaits.

Next Part: Confessions of a True Trekker - V - The Betrayal of Fatherland

Previous Parts:
1. Confessions of a True Trekker - I - The Prelude
2. Confessions of a True Trekker - II - The Barber’s Mirror
3. Confessions of a True Trekker - III - The Alpha Male

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Confessions of a True Trekker - III

The Alpha Male    -    Continuation of Confessions of a True Trekker - The Barber's Mirror
Courtesy: ssoosay

Inside the female brain, an organizer was like an alpha male, always leading the herd towards greener pastures, right in the front with head held high, commanding the harem and rest of the worker males. He would shout loudly "follow me" and an image of superman in red undies would light up inside the female brains with a pleasant tickling of 10 volt DC. The savior of the mankind has arrived! The  status of rest of the men in the team was reduced to mere sterile worker bees whose sole aim in life was to serve the queen bee. The caveat was that all the ladies considered themselves nothing less than the queen bee with a deep-rooted hatred for polygamy. In female brain, one king + numerous queens is not equal to polygamy! I don't know how this equation would ever equate, but nothing surprising given that mathematics has never been a priority for ladies. They even have difficulty counting till 28 each month without making mistakes!

So, I took up the pain to organize treks as well, just to please these beauties. God only knows what all I had to do, burning midnight oil to plan the trail so that the ladies could enjoy all that that they say they enjoy, such as drains, mud puddle, big rock, small rock, fat tree, green trees, red tree; running in and out of the forest offices to get permission to enter the so-called "pristine" forests. I can't make myself understand why these ladies love to update their status saying "entered a virgin forest, one that has never been touched by man". Telling you frankly, all the forest look the same to me, same big trees, rocks, and mud. Only Kamdev would know what the ladies imagine when they talk about virgin forest.

Entering highly-protected forest to please them was sappa matter, we have even burnt entire trees all together inside such protected areas so that the fetish of these ladies to dance around campfire could be fulfilled. And then they would like to get themselves photographed sitting next to the fire, ignoring the slaves who worked harder to collect wood and make fire than they had ever done in the comfort of air-conditioned office.

As it turns out, female brain is far more complex than the credit default swaps around which the entire world economy collapsed. Even though they profess their love for adventure and thrill, the definition of these words are entirely different in their brains. Within few months of my career as trek organizer, complaints started pouring in from ladies community. They complained to the higher authorities that in the name of trekking, I was making them walk as much as 10 kilometers each day, often in sunny weather,  mineral water and chicken were always in short supply and they were forced to make do with stream water and dry chapatis. Neither there was any arrangement of guest house nor any toilet for morning ablutions. Safety and modesty of ladies were being risked on treks organized by me.

Finally, bowing to pressure from women right activists, the higher authorities decided to ban me from organizing treks. My dreams of being the alpha male were crushed right there. A lesson was learned, just like CDS, by the time you understand the female brain, the damage is already done and you are right in the middle of the crisis. All the risks I took for the future profits now looked so much foolish after the fact.

Now, it was time for introspection into the strategies. What went wrong in this grand plan of procreation?

Next Parts:
1. Confessions of a True Trekker - IV - The (Actual) Lesson
2. Confessions of a True Trekker - V - The Betrayal of Fatherland

Previous Parts:
1. Confessions of a True Trekker - I - The Prelude
2. Confessions of a True Trekker - II - The Barber’s Mirror

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Confessions of a True Trekker - II

The Barber’s Mirror    -    Continuation of Confessions of a True Trekker - The Prelude

Over the last couple decades, photography has advanced so much that it has virtually replaced the mirror. Mirror was 70s. Today's women click themselves to check makeup. Pictures are indeed an integral part of the beautification project, in both upstream and downstream of the project timeline. Apart from being a makeup correction tool in the initial stages, it also serves as an advertising and praise collection tool in the later stages of the project. A keen observer would soon learn about the female need of self gratification in being photographed and seeing others (including prospecting males) comment “beautiful” on it regardless how unrealistic the comments are. What an irony it is that even for those who profess the need of a honest companion, it is simply impossible to reject the gravity-defying elation achieved from dishonest praises.

A direct consequence of this realization was me buying a DSLR lookalike camera and flaunting it on treks. I bought a few used, or rather discarded, photography magazines and picked up a couple photography jargon as well. This added finesse to my image as a professional. These are like magic words, throw a few here and there in your conversation with a DSLR dangling around your neck and your otherwise nonsensical blabber would immediately turn into pickup lines.

Finally, it was a success. Now, I was like a juicy jackfruit surrounded by all sort of houseflies. I was elated to find myself even invited for an all-girl trek! Life couldn’t be more colorful. However, all that goes up, comes down someday and my success was short lived too. My inapt post processing skills took the toll. I wasn’t much successful in hiding the pimples, wrinkles or turning crows into swans , buffaloes into deer. Never knew that ladies find little difference between a photographer and a tube of anti-aging, anti-blemish cream.

Experience is a good teacher. I understood that a photograph is like a mirror for women and a photographer like a barber holding the mirror to show how the back of your head looks. That’s it, pretty much. Now, which women would like a barber for her companion! I understood a woman’s need, need of a strong man who can lead the mankind with a vision, a vision to conquer territories, to lead the herd out of danger, who would appear from nowhere like a tarzan to free her beloved red scarf stuck in the devilish clutches of the thorns, who would carry her the burden of a women with grace on his face. A bit of close monitoring of female behavior would soon reveal that it was the trek organizer who fitted this image perfectly, who was the center of all female chatter.

Next Parts:
1. Confessions of a True Trekker - III - The Alpha Male
2. Confessions of a True Trekker - IV - The (Actual) Lesson
3. Confessions of a True Trekker - V - The Betrayal of Fatherland

Previous Part: Confessions of a True Trekker - I - The Prelude

Friday, July 13, 2012

Confessions of a True Trekker - I

Courtsey: 123RF

The Prelude


Had the female participation in treks gone down lately?

That was the question a moron had put up for discussion in Chennai Trekking Club's Facebook page. A set of equally moronic creatures then divulged into discussing various reasons for the drop in numbers among other things, such as whether actually there is a drop, what data is there to support the claim, should such private matters be discussed in public, why such moronic questions be answered at first place, and so on. Many core trekkers were trying to write off this serious issue simply saying that it doesn't matter and that their objective is to trek and that they are indifferent to the sex of participants. Ridiculous! It seemed to me that these individuals were hell bent on corrupting the young minds and turning them gay! The very reason I joined treks was to befriend pretty ladies, mingle with them, and well, get one girlfriend for myself. Which fool wants to walk tens of kilometers just to see some trees and drainage system of the mountains.  Yes, we do wish to appreciate beauty of nature, but not the beauty contained in those fat old trees! If I wish to see trees or streams, I would rather visit Lalbagh or stand on the bank of Cooum. The organizers don't understand this fact. Sala, the very objective of trekking is being jeopardized now.

After joining few treks, I realized that just being on treks doesn’t guarantee attention from the ladies. The kind of attitude they carry along, ooph! Initiating a warm discussion itself was impossible, forget about igniting the fire of love. I thought it was my thirteen-rupee-haircut or the sixty-five-rupee t-shirt that was to blame, but then I realized that its modern times. The ladies today aren't behind the riches, very unlike 70s when the fat-ass ladies, in tight kurti and an overdose of mascara, would ditch their poet lover to marry a middle-aged seth with a pot belly. Today, cash is passé. What woman want is "character", that is the presentability of a man. Of what use is a diamond necklace in a party if all you got is an outfashioned drum to point at when asked for the source of the necklace? Probably, it was my wheatish complexion that was to blame. Strange it would sounds, but even the ragi-complexioned girls have desire for lighter shade than wheatish! So, what was it that was stopping me from becoming a “handsome man” **?

Footnote: ** Pussy magnet.