Tuesday, October 5, 2010
How To Be A Rich Nation - Ways to eradicate hunger and poverty effectively
"Poverty-stricken hungry people of the motherland should look at the Forbes List of Richest and be proud of the 49 Bhindians out there, whose personal wealth account for 31% of Bhindia's GDP."
The "would be" Prime Minister of Bhindia took a long pause with a grin and then continued further. "They should feel proud that the motherland has produced such riches. The pride would suppress their hunger. The pride would turn their skin tolerant to the rain drops dripping through the torn tarpaulin. The pride would come as divine knowledge for their pot-bellied, malnourished children, even in the absence of primary education."
Another long pause and then he concluded, "Eradication of the hungry and poor, is the motto of our party." Roaring claps by hired men (for a packet of biryani) reverberated the sky, clouds of dust covered the midday sun as the men rush to collect their biryani packets.
It wasn't just a political speech delivered to be forgotten. After mudslide victory in polls, for the first time in Bhindia's history, a political speech was being transformed into reality. The promises made were being delivered, carried out in spirit and deed.
Keeping all the above (and many more) benefits in mind, the Gornament of Bhindia is proposing to make Forbes magazine tax free so that even people below poverty line could afford it. There is unanimous agreement about the benefits of Forbes magazine cutting across the political hues. Be it Congrace, Bharatiya Jhagra Party, Criminal Party (Murderist) - all are backing the proposal. A prominent leader from Rastriya Jhoota Dal has come up with the idea of using Public Distribution System, aka ration stores, as an effective means of ensuring the reach of Forbes magazine to the poorest of the poor and the AAM aadmi (AAM stands for Amplified Artificial Moronism). This project is widely being acknowledged as the biggest social revolution after Green Revolution, transforming the lives as never before.
At all-party meet, concern was raised that if the number of super rich Bhindians drop in the Forbes List of Richest, it might demoralize the already demoralized citizens who do not even have a proof of citizenship. So, in order to maintain the numbers of Bhindians' in the Forest List of Riches, a 21% Garib-Bhagao Tax is going to be imposed on all food items. The proceeds of Garib-Bhagao Tax would be geometrically distributed among the top 50 richest of the rich. This would increase their wealth further and help them compete with rest of the world effectively.
The Chief Economic Advisor to the Prime Minister and the Prime Minister himself have immense faith that this tax would surely help the maintain the permanent seats for Bhindians in the Forbes List of Richest.
This massive nation-wide exercise to secure permanent seats in the Forbes List of Richest has left the whole world baffled. Democracies all over the world have never seen such smooth cooperation of the ruling and opposition parties to implement a program. In fact, it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the ruling and opposition party members. The cooperation between them has gone beyond their political lives and deep into their personal lives. Often members of both parties are seen travelling in each others' cars, living at each others' houses, with each others' spouses. Even their kids are finding it difficult to point out the individuals responsible for their existence.
Even the statues of Solon, Cleisthenes, and Ephialtes, the father, step-father, and father-in-law of democracy respectively, were seen to bear an expression of profound confusion.
Radio telescopes from the entire Milky Way and neighboring Anderomeda are focussed sharply on the rising Bhindia, the shinning Bhindia. Will it live up to the expectations? Only time will tell. It could have been impossible for Einstein to discover the relativity of time in the context of Bhindia where every politician possesses the power to bend time at wish. Holding our breath, we are all praying for the success of this grand plan. Jai Bhind.
Interospection: We all are poor, relatively that is, we all are hungry, and we all ogle at the silvers and the golds, and derive a sense of awe. Often, who is rich and how much so is the topic of discussion during those "productive" work hours, soaked in the feelings of pride, which are apparent to even blind eyes, pride of belonging to a nation which houses such wealth and richness. This is despite knowing that not a single dime of that wealth would ever spill out in our courtyard.
The public interest in alien wealth is such that an entire section of media has been devoted to it. Almost an industry has grown around this madness to know who owns how much. Strangely, we find solace in gossips of simplicity in the lives of the elite. By referring Buffet's $10 watch or Slim's small house, we try to find a common ground between them and us.
Will it not be better if we were to concern ourselves with our own path to wealth rather than fantasize of wealth accumulated elsewhere. Dreaming is good, but not comparison of self with others.