Saturday, October 12, 2013

Unsocial Networks

Courtesy - Effbomb
Taking turn on the bed, searching for the elusive sleep, I picked up the mobile and reached for my ex-girlfriend (presently my wife). As I dialed her number, I was presented with a pleasant female voice, much sweeter than my sweetheart's although mechanical, stating it wouldn't be possible to connect to my beloved as she was on a different mobile network!

Since marriage, we never gave a thought to being on the same mobile network to reduce call cost. It wasn't necessary, after all one doesn't talk much post marriage and in fact, the focus is on how to avoid conversions.

I called the customer care and expressed my frustration at not being able to connect to someone on a different network. The 20-something, I imagined, with image of Pamela Anderson in mind, executive, with an aura of dumbness, was patiently reading me the same paragraph from their trouble-shooting guide, albeit with change of tone, traversing from unconcerned to bored to irritated.

Sir, it is the new policy of Supreme Mobile, she explained, to stop all off-net calls, incoming as well as outgoing, keeping the interest of customers in mind. Interest of the customers, I baffled, but how? I mean, what interest are you talking about? Sir, even though technically feasible, off-net calls cost more to the company compared to the on-net calls. With profits margins improving, the company would be in a position to reduce on-net call rates further and offer exciting games completely free! Hence, it was done in the best interest of the customers, she added exuberantly. In fact, given that our network is the biggest one in the nation, one should not be complaining about not being able to call one particular number, she added. We've got 750 mn users, sir, which gives you 750 mn numbers to call. Isn't that exciting! Why would one even think of calling someone on a different network? Besides, you can always invite your family and friends to switch to Supreme Mobile and enjoy the low call rates and amazing games. Inviting your friends to Supreme Mobile is as easy as sending an SMS! Just type...

It was unbearable by now and I had to disconnect abruptly, without the polity of thanking her. Dumbstruck, I wondered whether my judgment of the world was impaired due to overdose of homeopathic candies last week or the business community of the nation was under terrorist attack by biological weapons which left them incapable of sane thinking resulting in such policies.

You must be wondering where on earth this Supreme Mobile operates, why no action is initiated against its monopolistic policies, how can it be called a communication firm when its chief function is to limit communication. Certainly, there should be wide-spread condemnation of such policies in the media and people would leave such a mobile network. Well, that is not reality. In fact, people are pouring in day in and day out to get a subscription of Supreme Mobile because it gives you free games to play and you can call an astonishing 750 mn numbers. Damn those who are not on Supreme Mobile. They would eventually be forced to sign in because they too can't communicate with those 750 mn individuals. Soon, you would have none but Supreme Mobile as the only mobile company left in the nation.

Now, it isn't a made up story, it's reality, it's happening now and probably you are reading this shit on such a monopolistic platform. It may not be your voice calls that are being limited, but you don't share your thoughts just through you voice, you type text, you click photos as well. Do you realize that!

Cares who, we just fucking love Supreme Mobile and its policies. Monopolistic, huh...
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